Filing for child custody is the first step in gaining custody of your children. It involves filling out a variety of forms, most of which are available at your Family Court courthouse. Filling out the paper work is not difficult and often times the court personnel will assist you. However the preparation that you do before you step into the court house often determines whether you will get the custody arrangement that you seek.

Before you file for child custody do your homework. Read up on the state’s requirements and guidelines for custody. Never go into a child custody battle unprerared. Talk to people that have dealt with the family courts in your area to learn what you are up against. You can learn a lot from other people’s experiences and mistakes.

One resource that I highly recommend is The Custody Center run by Dr Elliot and Dr Bricklin, two of  the foremost experts in child custody. You can check it out by clicking  here. They provide years of research and experience in custody and are up to date with changes in the laws of every state. A great help in your child custody battle.

Filing fo child custody requires knowledge and planning.

You might also want to visit an attorney to find get basic information about family law in your area. Many will provide an initial consultation at little or no cost. It’s a great way to find out how they would handle your case and what they anticipate the outcome will be.

After you have done your homework and you are ready to file your child custody papers you will need to go to the court house that handles child custody in your area. This is usually the Family Court but you can find out for certain by calling the court house and asking.

Ask the clerk what you need to do to file for child custody. Be polite, most clerks are very helpful if you treat them with respect. Ask the clerk if there is a filing fee, if you are responsible for delivering or serving the other parent a copy of the filing, if you might qualify for free legal help and how to get it. Ask what type of payments they accept if there is a filing fee. Ask what you need to do after you file the papers. Clerks are really the backbone of the court system, treat them right and it will make your life that much easier.
When you arrive at the courthouse make sure that you bring all the information that you need to fill out the papers. This would include birthdays and social security cards for children, the home address and work address of the other parent and any other information that the clerk advised you to bring. File the papers and make sure that you understand exactly what you need to do next.

The act of filing for child custody is not that complex and you can do it. The main thing to realize is that you, your children and the other parent have certain rights, each specific to your state. If you want to make sure that your rights are protected you need to know your rights. One resource is to check out www.findlaw.com or invest in the information provided at The Custody Center. They are recognized experts in the field and have the most up to date info on child custody. You can download the information immediately and it comes with a money back guarantee if you are not satisfied (if only lawyers would do that!)

These are the basics for filing for child custody. Once more the key is to be prepared. Ask questions, research, read, know what to expect. When in doubt, hire an attorney, the stakes are too high to risk it.

The single most important thing that will decide the outcome of your child custody battle is the information that you have.

I remember when I was getting started I didn’t know enough to ask the lawyer intelligent questions. I was confused, lost and hurt.

My education came via the school of hard knocks. I had my visitation cut in half and my child support increased 300%. I just didn’t know and the legal system wasn’t there to help me, all they wanted was to get me in and out of the system as quickly and quietly as possible.

After the courts cut my visitation and my ability to support my family in half, I began to read everything I could about custody, visitation, and child support. I, along with my wife, formed a group that helped bring the plight of fathers and step-mothers to the attention of the media. (That is a story in itself! When the Speaker of The House calls you at home screaming, or the State’s Attorney loses his cool in front of your wife…..wow) By the time my case made it to the Appellate court, I was educating my lawyer on the law.

Looking back it was tough. It took a lot of time, determination and money to get the education that I needed to win the right to be a dad to my kids. If I had had the right information from the beginning I would have saved thousands of dollars and been able to spend more time, birthdays and Christmases with my kids.

The right information is the most important thing you need to win your child custody battle.

I have found one source of information that I think will help anyone that is about to do battle for the right to be a parent to their kid. It is called The Child Custody Center. It brings together all the information that you need in one spot. It is put together by two top experts in the field Dr Bricklin and Dr Elliot. It has all the information that I wish I had known when I got started.

They make a statement that is so true, “It is easier to win the first time around then to reopen your case”. So true! You need to get it right the first time. For your sake, for your kids sake, for your wallets sake.
One thing that I appreciate about the Child Custody center is that they give you state specific information. No more searching the web for your state’s laws and forms. What a time saver!

I could go on about the Child Custody Center but you can read about it for your self by Clicking Here.
I hope that you check it out. It could save you a lot of time and money and most importantly – get you more time with your children.

You are entering a child custody battle and it is a very stressful time. One of the stresses that really bothered me when I went through the process was not knowing: Not knowing what to expect. Not knowing how to fill out forms. Not knowing where to turn for answers. Some of the most common questions that people have about the custody process and answers follow. I hope this helps to take some of the stress out of you battle.

1.) Do courts automatically give custody to the mother?

No, not automatically. In the past many states awarded younger children, five and under, to the mother. This was sometimes refered to as “the tender years doctrine” and implied that mothers were the best parent

for children at this younger age. Most states have rejected this concept and now require their courts to determine custody based upon the best interest of the children regardless of age.

2.)If I don’t get custody of my child what happens?
You may still win partial custody of your child. This is called “Joint Custody”. Parents can be awarded a combination of custody including joint physical custody, where the child spends a specified amount of time with each parent, joint legal custody where major life decisions concern the child are shared( such as medical, religious, and educational decisions), or a combination of both.

All states provide for the possibility of awarding joint legal custody. However, not all states will award joint physical custody. The states that do, often require both parents to agree to joint custody and to submit a parenting plan to support their parenting intentions.

Three states, Idaho, New Mexico and New Hampshire, require the courts to award joint custody except in situations where the best interest of the child is not served.

3)What do the courts take into consideration when making a custody or visitation decision?
The courts give the child’s “best interest” the highest priority. One of the priorities that the courts consider is the stability of the child in familiar surroundings such as home,school and community. The judge may look for continuity in the child’s life. This might include living in the same house that the child grew up in, going to the same school or church, and having access to both parents.

Other factors that judges may consider include:
The child’s age, gender, and health.
The parent’s ability to provide for the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of the child.
The willingness of the custodial parent to involve and allow the involvement of the other parent in the child’s life.
The ability of the parent to give the child guidance and direction.

Child custody battles are streesful enough without having to deal with the unknown. I hope that these answers help you to understand the road ahead.

Child custody battles involving teens present separating parents with a different set of concerns compared to younger children. In many ways a separation or divorce is harder on teens then younger children. Teens have questions about the break up and they need answers. It is appropriate to give your teen an age appropriate explanation of the break up. There is no need to go into details and they should be given reassurances that the break up was not their fault.

It is important to provide consistent rules between both households. Teens need structure and as you develop a parenting plan needs to be addresses. Curfews, acceptable dress, music, language, etc needs to be consistent from home to home.

Teens are at the age where they start to exert their independence. They may want to decide when they want to visit the other parent. They will want to spend time with their friends instead of visiting. These issues need to be addressed while maintaining the basic structure of the parenting agreement. Friends should be allowed and encouraged to visit at both houses. Parents need to resist using this stage of independence as a weapon against the other parent.

Teens are often involved in extracurricular activities. It is very important that both parents support the teen in these activities. Teens need to know that both parents support them in their activities and interests. Visitation does not need to be cancelled for these activities. The parent with visitation should be the one to take the teen to and pick them up after the event.

The teen years were a difficult time for me and my children. There were times when they did not want to visit and I did feel hurt. However, I made sure that they knew I loved them and supported them. I understood that they had friends and wanted to do things that teens do. Often times these things don’t include parents. Hopefully by the time your kids reach their teens you will have established a great relationship with them and they will still want you in their lives even as they start creating theirs.

The teen years are a time of rebellion. You should expect to encounter some resistance to the custody and visitation schedule. Teens will rebel against this just like they do about the other rules in their lives. You need to hang in there and stick to the plan. Don’t let your teen think that they can make changes to something that was ordered by the courts. This is just another phase of the child custody battle and it doesn’t necessarily take place in the courtroom.

Many people that are just starting their child custody battle have questions about parenting plans. When I went through this, I was completely lost and as a result, I lost valuable time with my children. If your state requires a parenting plan then you will need to draft one and submit it as soon as possible.

What is a parenting plan? A parenting plan describes how decisions will be made and when the child will be with each parent. It also describes the type of custody each parent has, physical custody or legal custody.

The parenting plan should include time sharing of the children. When will the children be with each parent including birthdays, holidays, weekends and weekday visits. It is important to be specific. State what time visitation will begin and what time visitation will end.

The parenting plan should also describe transportation arrangements. Who is responsible for dropping the children off and picking them up. This can be especially important when the parents live a distance apart. I remember spending several hours on the road on the holidays driving to pick my kids up and taking them back.

Parenting plans are part of the child custody process.

A very important thing to keep in mind when making your parenting plan is how well you and the child’s other parent are getting along. If this is an all out child custody war then you will need to be as specific and as detailed as possible. If you are getting along well then you can be a bit less precise in your wording. I would caution that it is still better to be safe then sorry when it comes to details.

Some important factors to consider are the age and maturity of the child. An infant has different needs and tolerance then a seven year old. Teenagers have different needs then toddlers.

Most family law courts and experts in child custody cases agree that the best parenting plan is one that both parents develop together with the best interest of the children involved. These plans take in consideration that the best parent is both parents.

Most people that are involved in a child custody dispute have never seen a parenting plan nor a court ordered visitation plan. Click here for to see what a court ordered visitation plan looks like. It might give you ideas on how to craft your parenting plan.

Until next time, may your find the courage and motivation and resources to fight and win your child custody battle.

What do you want to happen as a result of your child custdy battle? That is a question that you must answer before you begin your child custody process. What do you expect and hope that the outcome will be?

I remember talking to one young man that was about to embark on his fight and his hope was to be able to take his daughter “far away where the mother would never see her again”. Is this a reasonable outcome? I don’t think so. Nor is it in the best interest of the child.

Most cases will be decided with a granting of some form of split custody where the child is with each parent a percent of the time. The battle comes over who that parent should be, and what percent of the time the visitation will be.

The shared parenting approach is an effort to keep both parents involved in the child’s life. In many instances it is the best that can happen. The difficulty comes when the parents do not make the effort to make this work. If the parents allow their anger, jealousy and emotions to cloud their judgments then the arrangement becomes stained and the child’s best interest is not served – anytime that the child is used as a way to hurt either parent the child loses. Remember that.

Before you start your child custody battle, take some time and decide what it is that you want. This will help keep you on track and also keep your attorney on track as well. Be realistic but don’t be a doormat. Do what is right for you and your children.

Be proactive in your child custody fight.

I wasn’t prepared for my child custody battle and it hurt my case. Here are some tips that might help you as you get ready for your child custody battle that I wish I had known at the start of mine.

1). Keep at “Child Contact Log”. Make a place to record every time that you call or visit the children. Make a note if you were denied contact. Keep this log accurate and up to date. It will help you to show documentation that you are an active and vital part of your children’s lives. It will also show if you are being hindered in your attempts to be with your children. This can be a bit burdensome but do it. You will be glad that you did.

2.) Take child parenting courses. Some states and jurisdictions require parents going through custody battles to take parenting courses. You can be ahead of the game by enrolling in these classes before you are required. This will put you ahead of the game and may also show your commitment to being a great parent.
This is also a time where you might need to address other issues such as anger management. If you have an anger problem, or may be accused of having one, you might wish to enroll in anger management classes. Talk this over with your child custody lawyer to make sure that it would benefit you and not hurt you.

3.) Write out a parenting plan. Once again this is a great way to show the family law court that you are serious about being a great parent. Many states require you to submit a parenting plan so once again this helps you to be ready and stay ahead of the game.

I hope that these ideas are helpful to you as you get ready to fight your child custody battle.

There are different types of custody with different types of visitation rights. These vary from state to state. The two most common types of child custody are “physical custody” and “legal custody”. Physical custody is exactly that, who has the physical custody of the children. Where will they spend most of their time. Legal custody is who is responsible for making decisions that effect the child’s welfare and well being.

In many instances these types of custody are given to both parents. This is called joint custody. In instances of joint custody a judge or a branch of the family law court, will determine the visitation schedule for the children.

This is a simple explanation of some complex terms. The way visitation and custody is determined will vary from state to state. You need to ask your lawyer what to expect. I’m not saying that you need to be satisfied with what he/she may tell you, there are often exceptions to the rules, but this will give you a place to start from.

I bring this up because if you know that you have a good chance of being taken to the cleaners in family court then you might want to negotiate with the other parent to see if you can get better terms. This is one option that you might wish to purse. If compromise is not an option then you will need to gear up for an all out custody war

Are you prepared to win your child custody battle?

Do not list the negative qualities of the other parent. The “good parent – bad parent” drama doesn’t play out well in most cases. In stead of listing the negatives, state why you are more positive, the better parent, in that area.

For example instead of saying that the other parent lets the children run amuck in an undisciplined mess of a dirty run down house, you might say that, “I am consistent at following a regular routine including scheduled activities, homework, bedtime and household chores. “

Find someone that you can talk with. When things get tough, and they will, you will need someone to help keep you calm, help keep you from giving up or doing anything stupid. Even the most level headed, calm, responsible people can find themselves pushed to the edge by a child custody system that seems to have biases and moves more slowly then anyone would want. You will need someone to help keep you focused.

One other tip that I found useful is to take time for your self. You will need to find a way to relax and think about something else. I know it’s hard but you need it. One thing not to do is start hitting the bars. Your mental state and alcohol will just lead to stupidity. Get back to fishing, golfing, working out at the gym, etc. You need the mental break . It will make you more effective when you need to be.

I hope that these tips will help you in your fight to win your child custody battle.

Chose a good child custody lawyer for your self and your kids!

I remember my first experience with a family lawyer was an eye opener. He basically told me that for a hefty fee he could get me standard visitation of every other weekend and two weeks in the summer. He said that was what all fathers got and that’s all I could expect. He was surrendering before the fight!

TIP 1) If you want to have a chance to win your child custody war, find a lawyer that is willing to fight for you! To find a good lawyer you might check to see if your area has any father’s rights groups. They might be able to recommend a warrior lawyer that will go to the mat for you.

Once you have a qualified family law lawyer, you will need to make sure that they are what YOU want.
TIP 2) Before you visit your potential attorney, sit down and make a list of questions that you want to ask. Some questions might be:
How long has the attorney been in practice?
Does the attorney specialize in child custody cases?
Does the attorney belong to any professional organizations that are related to child custody?
What kind of success does the lawyer have with cases like yours?
Has the lawyer received any recent specialized training in child custody cases?

These questions are important. You don’t want someone that is going to take your money and let the system do with you what it will. You want a fighter! Don’t be afraid to check out attorneys that are just starting out. Sometimes they are the ones that are most up to date on recent family law changes and they are still trying to prove themselves, to make a name for themselves.

When you are discussing your child custody case you need to make sure that you tell your attorney your story. The attorney will need to know what he/she is working with.

TIP3) Be honest with your attorney. They need to know everything that might come back to bite you. You don’t want to be in a courtroom and have your ex bring up something that your attorney isn’t prepared for. That would not be good. Your attorney, once hired is on your side, tell them everything!

One more issue that you need to address is the cost of the attorney’s services. Ask them what their fees are. Ask if there is a retainer and how the retainer fees work. You need to know if there are any additional costs in addition to the fees. Ask for an estimate for the entire case (realize it is an estimate only). Ask if the family lawyer has a payment schedule and when payments will need to be made.

Another important question is to ask if the attorney will be doing the work himself or if someone else will be doing it. Its can be a shock when you show up in court and your lawyer has sent a “qualified replacement”.

A child custody battle is just that – a battle. In every battle you need to “intelligence”. Indeed many battles are won by the person that has the best intelligence. This is true in family law courts when you are fighting for your rights with your children. Get the best child custody attorney you can afford.
Good luck in your child custody battle – never give up!